Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
