Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?