is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
