i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
