Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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