I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars