Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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(914): View more from New York

Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

(914): View more from New York

Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.

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(772): View more from Florida

Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"

(404): View more from Georgia

That is so sad.

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(706): View more from Georgia

She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."

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