So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
