I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless