I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
