I can text with my tongue
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
