People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
