I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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