from now on my penis is your penis
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
