I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize