i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
