you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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