Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
