He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
