I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
