wat bout pragnant strippers??
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
