So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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