I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
