The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
