I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
