I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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