so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
