I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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