A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize