i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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