By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize