Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.