good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break