is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
