cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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