They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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