I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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