No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
