There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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