I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
