just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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