I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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