butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
