i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
