Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the day after is always just damage control
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I need a burrito and a hug.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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