so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
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