It's Friday. Sex?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
