im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
