did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize