my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
