I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
