One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
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All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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