week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize