I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.