She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES