I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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