As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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