White coat. Heels.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
