Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
