Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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