Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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