wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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