So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
